Nothing Is Ever Enough For You
How a Simple Statement from My Wife Led to a Profound Realization about the Ego and True Contentment.
In the middle of a seemingly random conversation, my wife once made a statement that hit me like a ton of bricks. It wasn’t anything important. We weren’t having an argument—we rarely do—but it was a simple, offhand remark that carried profound truth. She said, “Nothing is ever enough for you.”
At that point in my life, she wasn’t wrong. I always felt the need to make every moment more than it was, better than it was, more extraordinary than it was. This constant yearning is a function of the limited self, the small mind, the egoic mind that I often talk about. If you haven't listened to the first episode of my podcast, I highly recommend it. It’s more scripted, but it sets the stage for understanding this concept more clearly.
When my wife made that statement, it struck me deeply. By then, I was already practicing self-inquiry, asking questions like “Who am I?” and “Who is it that hears this?” This practice created a bit of separation between my awareness and my egoic mind, allowing me to observe rather than react.
If I brought it up to her today, she probably wouldn’t even remember saying it. But for me, it was a pivotal moment of self-reflection. I realized that nothing had ever been enough for me—not for the true me, but for the egoic me, the conditioned me. This part of me, like the rest of my body, is a bodily function. For so long, I was identified with this egoic self, believing it was who I truly was.
In the first episode of my podcast, I mentioned that the journey isn't about the death of the ego but about seeing it for what it is: a part of the human experience that isn’t truly us. If you’re not yet able to observe the ego, understand that any time you’re looking to the future or the past, stuck in thoughts or ruminations, you’re engaging with the egoic mind.
The ego generates thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, anxieties, and desires to influence the body to act on its behalf. When someone says something negative to you, it’s the ego that gets offended and wants to defend itself. This leads to a cascade of reactions, judgments, and actions that are driven by the ego, not by your true self.
Your true self, your awareness, remains untouched by words or actions. It exists outside time and space, whole and complete. When my wife said, “Nothing is ever enough for you,” it was a truth that stopped me in my tracks. I reflected on whether I was still seeking fulfillment in external achievements and realized I wasn’t as much as before. There had been a shift, a reduction in the ego’s influence over my actions and happiness.
The ego is the most addictive aspect of our existence, more so than social media, video games, or substances. It’s the source of our suffering, always seeking to change or improve what is available to it (reality). But when you recognize the ego for what it is, you start to see that no experience is inherently good or bad—it just is. By resting in your true nature, in awareness, you will find contentment, fulfillment, joy, and peace.
To anyone reading this, I highly recommend observing the ego. Realize that you are not your thoughts, feelings, emotions, or memories. You are the awareness behind these experiences. Understanding this can lead to a profound sense of liberation and a more fulfilling life.
This is a summary of a full episode of “The Aware Self Podcast.” Click the button below to listen to the episode on Spotify!